Scotch

My coworker and apartment-mate, Danielle, and I entertain ourselves by writing songs about life in Mongolia; it’s become tradition for us to perform at least one during our organization's Fall training each year. This year's hit was “Scotching Fiend” to the tune of “Dancing Queen”. There seem to be certain phases that everyone goes through as they adjust to living here, and one of those phases involves an obsession with scotch tape. Scotch, as it is called here, is between one and two inches wide, comes on big rolls, and can be used for anything. Last spring I went through a phase where I was scotching everything; especially any teaching aides that I created—to make them last, you know! Anyway, this scotching phase is what gave birth to our song. Enjoy!

Scotching Fiend
I can scotch, I can jive, having the time of my life
See my skill, watch me work, I am the Scotching Fiend.

Friday night and I need to know what is the best route to go
For fixing the toilet, for picking up cat hair
I think I need some scotch…

It’s a great thing to keep close by
It works for anything; just give it a try

Covering your papers, filling window cracks
I’ll never go back

And when I get the chance

I am the Scotching Fiend,
Giving things such a lovely sheen
Scotching Fiend, cover those papers—keep them clean
I can scotch, I can jive, having the time of my life
See my skill, watch me work, I am the Scotching Fiend.



The Scotching Queens, I mean, Fiends...





For those of you who also struggle with scotch addictions, you'll be happy to know that you can now get your very own "Scotching Fiend" shirts! Once again, Mongol Mama is the place to go.